Title: Peathraichean
Fandom: X-Men
Author: Apache Firecat
Characters: Wolfsbane, Shadowcat/Prestige
Rating: PG/K+
Summary: Lady Moira is gone again, leaving her daughter to wonder if she was really ever even there.
Word Count: 2,537
Written For: Half A Moon Day 5: Moods, X-Men 15 15. Death, and Trope of the Month February 2024: Marriage and Engagement
Warnings: Future Fic, Character Deaths
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.








There had been a time when she couldn't set eyes on the moon. Sitting here now, in the hall window of the most recent school to bear the name of Xavier, Rahne couldn't help thinking of how long ago those nights seemed, or how much had changed since then. There had been a time when she'd barely been able to control her mood swings, regardless of the moon's shape or status, regardless, even, if it had been full daylight outside.

The Reverand Craig had always blamed her shifting moods on the moon. The Silver Lady did play a crucial role in them, especially when she'd been younger, but she'd had so much more than her lycanthropy causing her severe rages and depressions too. She'd been a playtoy for a while with X-Factor, cast underneath a spell to love a man who was all but married to another lady. In her younger days, sure'n she'd had a temper, but being kept like a caged animal did that to a person, regardless of rather they had mutatgens, wolven, Fae, or just normal, human blood. The Reverand had caused her to believe that she was a bad child, a Demon spawn, and kept her locked away from the "good" people of her home village.

The Reverand was dead now, and he wasn't the only one. Lady Moira was gone again -- if, indeed, Rahne could even call her that. The woman who had just died had been nothing like the Lady Moira who had rescued her and raised her from a wee bairn. She had been overbearing as well, but certainly not as bad as the Reverand. She'd never once treated her like a monster but had instead raised her to be a lady.

She couldn't say that anymore, Rahne realized, blinking back tears. She could fell the telltale, ticklish crawl of fur sprouting along her arms and legs and pulled knees up closer to her chest. Her gaze was still on the full moon in all its beauty, but her mind had gone back again to memories she wished she could forget. She'd spoken to scores of people her age, younger, and a few older, too, who had been abused in similar ways as herself and repressed their memories. Och, how she wished she could do that with her memories of the creature who had worn Lady Moira's face!

That creature had treated her as a monster, even though she'd been the monstrous one. She had treated worse as well. Silent tears filled Rahne's eyes as she recalled the viciousness with which she had snarled at her that she had never been a daughter to her, only an experiment. Everyone said that was the real Moira, even the Professor who had loved her for longer than Rahne been alive and Mister Cassidy, the man who had almost married her, and whose very skin Moira had flayed from his body and used as a costume to mask her true signature and sneak back into Krakoa.

Rahne shivered. Her fur grew into a thick, brown coat, but even it could not warm her on these nights. She was no longer in Scotland, had sworn after what had happened with Lady Moira or whatever the beast wanted to call itself, that she'd never set foot on Muir Isle again. She buried her head in her face and silently wept. She did not know how long she set there and would have likely stayed there, curled in that window seat, for the rest of the night except'n when she suddenly sensed another presence beside her.

Her nose told her immediately both to whom the presence belonged and that the other woman, a few years older than herself in age but so much older in maturity, was genuinely concerned for her. She sniffled; she also scented hot cocoa with a touch of cinnamon and mallows, just like Lady Moira had made it when she'd been a wee lass... when the good Doctor had been caring for her, or had she ever cared for her? No wonder she'd been able to contract the Legacy Virus. She'd never been a human to begin with, always lying to them all, supposedly being the X-Men's most loyal, human companion. Had she ever cared for any of them, even the Professor? After all, if she'd turned the man she'd intended to marry in a bloody suit of flesh --

"Rahne?"

She stiffened, but her pointy ears betrayed her having heard Kitty by perking instantly up at the older girl's voice. She looked up at her through her tears, knowing she didn't have to hide from her. After all, Shadowcat had practically been raised with the X-Men too, having been with them since she'd been but fourteen. They had worked together in a variety of teams and situations, and schooled together for a time too. "I was -- " she started to explain, but her words faltered. She couldn't lie to her; she'd never been much good at lying and had always believed honesty to be the best policy. Lady Moira had taught her that from a very early age. Yet she'd been lying to them all the time...

Kitty reached out with her empty hand and fondly ruffled the young Scot's fur on top of her head. She remembered another night what felt like so many years ago, but had indeed only been a few, when she'd watched over Rahne as she had taken her first sip of alcohol. She'd barely been legal then. So much had changed since then, and Kitty Pryde's heart ached heavily at the thought of all they and their friends and family had endured since. "You were thinking about Moira," she spoke softly, kindly, as she offered her the mug of hot cocoa.

Rahne accepted, unable to keep the tip of her tongue from touching her top lip in childlike anticipation. A small smile graced Kitty's face as she recalled how she'd licked her lips after her first adult beverage. She waited until the younger woman held the hot mug in both furry hands before releasing and watched as she took her first sip. "I've got something stronger than that too, if you want it," she said, withdrawing slightly and tapping the inside pocket of her red, leather coat.

Rahne didn't answer, merely sipped the cocoa and looked so sad that Kitty almost reached out to hug her. Instead, she leaned against the wall, folded her arms over her chest, and looked out onto the night. In the windowpane beside Rahne, she could watch the younger girl's reflection without being obvious about it. "You know," she gently remarked, "it's not wrong that you mourn her."

"But she was evil -- "

"Was she?" Kitty asked. "And even if she was, Moira had multiple lives. This last one was aware of the rest, but I don't think the others were."

"So ye're sayin' she didnae knae before? Who she was? When she... She..." Rahne's words trailed off in a very heavy sigh. She'd sprouted a tail by now, and it flopped helplessly against the wall beneath her.

Kitty understood immediately what she meant for she still very well and fondly recalled a young, extremely shy Scot who had always dressed in her Catholic skirts and been the most well-reserved, young lady she had ever known. "When she took you in, and raised you, she was another woman. It was a different life for her. I firmly believe she never meant you any harm in that life."

"Di ye?" Rahne asked, looking up at her with chocolate on her lips.

Kitty smiled at the girl, took a handkerchief from her pocket, and cleaned her lips, not unlike Lady Moira had done so often when she'd been growing up. Kitty had been in a position not unlike Rahne's too many times. She both knew the grief of losing one's parents, or parental figure, and the confusion and heartache of feeling that you didn't know someone who you had loved and been loved by for years. Her own heart stung as she thought of Rachel, but now wasn't the time to wallow in her own grief. She was here for a friend now. Illyana, come to think of it, hadn't been too different from Rachel, always coming to her from a different moment in the timestream.

But she was not, Kitty reminded herself firmly, here to think of or care about herself. She could be out anywhere drowning herself in liquor. She had come here to help Rahne, one of the last of the New Mutants left with her memories and personality intact. She was here to help a girl, a friend, who was in danger of being lost amongst the X-Men, as too many of the more reserved and quieter mutants had been. There were too few of them period now; Kitty wouldn't let another fall or fade away. At least, not as long as she could help it.

"Rahne, I know you think..." Kitty paused, finding herself, this time, struggling for words. She lifted a foot and pressed her boot hard against the wall behind her. She'd not judge the girl, even though she knew most Catholics' beliefs; they'd all been judged too much. "You know, my best friend has a tendency of getting lost in the time stream," she blurted out instead.

Rahne's amber eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed. "Ye mean yuir girlfriend."

Her innocent words actually brought a small blush to the formerly proud Captain's cheeks. "Yeah." She nodded. She withdrew the flask from her pocket, took a sip, and put it back before going on, "Only she's not always my girlfriend. Sometimes, she is. Sometimes, she isn't." I'd like to make her my wife. But that was neither here nor there, Kitty thought and hurried on, "She's come to me at times knowing me, and at times not knowing me. Honestly, she almost always knows me -- but she doesn't know know me." She paused, struggling to explain.

Rahne's eyes were turning somewhat glittery as she marvelled over Kitty's explanation. "Ye mean, knae ye as in knae ye as... as th' woman she loves? She'll knae ye as th' X-Man ye are or as her friend p'rhaps, but nae as... as ye've known each other, as th' -- "

"As the woman I love," Kitty agreed, nodding. "It hurts," she admitted, speaking a truth she'd never shared with anyone before but her dragon, whom she also missed, "but it's the way it is, with the time stream and all. I always have to be so careful with her every time she... she comes back to me. Because I never know which one I'm getting. I don't know if it's my friend. I don't know if it's the Hound. There's even been a few times when she doesn't remember me at all.

"The best times, of course," she reminisced with a small smile, "is when she does remember me fully. When she is as excited to see me as I am her. When she greets me with a kiss. Once, there was even a time when she -- when she -- "

"When she what?"

"When she thought I was her wife," she said, and wished again that 'Heed was there. His weight draped over her shoulders was always so welcoming and reassuring a presence, but she still had no idea where he was now, after the destruction of Krakoa. "In the future that one was from, she and I had actually gotten married," she explained, feeling once again like she was relating far too heavy a story for a child like Rahne.

But she was no longer a child, Kitty reminded herself. She was a full woman grieving for her mother and best friend.

"Have ye e'er... ye knae, thought about marryin' her?"

"Oh, yeah," Kitty said and hoped to leave her answer at that. She was still carrying the diamond ring she'd bought for Ray over a decade previously. Throughout everything they had endured, she had managed to keep the ring. It constantly moved from her desk drawer to her dresser drawer to her pocket. She was thankful to still have it after Krakoa and was back to carrying it with her, even though she doubted she'd ever actually ask Rachel to marry her. After all, what good could it do to ask a woman to marry you only to have her be lost in time again and return with no memory whatsoever of the wedding?

During this time, Rahne watched her silently, understanding more than Kitty hoped. Kitty sighed, took another swig of her whiskey, and ventured hurriedly on, "Basically, what I'm trying to say is, don't let the memory of the woman who just died take away from the memory of the woman you knew and loved as your mother." She took another sip as she tried to find a way to explain further, "They may have shared the same body, the same genetics, but they were not the same. Just because the last one had your mother's memories doesn't mean she was anything like her except for the outside appearance, and just because she was evil doesn't mean that your Lady Moira wasn't just that. She was a fine lady." She tipped her flask to the moon and took another long swig.

Rahne nodded, her head tucking down. She took another sip of her half-finished cocoa, then looked cautiously up at Kitty again. "Can I... Can I have some o' tha'?" she asked. Her tail gave a half-hearted wag.

Kitty smiled down at her and tilted the flask into her cocoa. "You can have as much as you like, pup." She ruffled her fur atop her head again and stood by her, looking out over the night and over this young woman who, like herself, had known far too much pain in life, not all eclipsed by the X badge and some even brought to her because of it. They'd both been hurt far too much, had had more than any person should have to endure being taken, and would still have to endure more pain in their lives as X-Men. But just like the soldiers they were, they were not alone.

When Rahne finished her cocoa, Kitty slipped out the bottle of whiskey she had, poured her some in her mug, and took another swig herself. They had much to grieve. The world would continue. The moon would sink, the sun would rise, and the moon would rise again tomorrow night. They had learned, and endured, so much, but they was still more to come. "You're never alone, Rahne," Kitty whispered, "not any more."

"I knae," she said, her big, luminous eyes watching the moon that had once, for so many years of her young life, been denied her. "Thank you, Kitty," she whispered after long moments had stretched by.

"Of course, piuthar bheag," Kitty whispered, ruffling her fur again. Her hand stopped, and she stood silently beside her, not unlike a sentry of old. A shadow had passed over the moon. Had it been a dragon? She dared to hope, and she'd go looking tomorrow, but tonight, she was here for a different friend.




The End